


DiQPiQs (Q/Picard)

by Spocko_My_Man



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Collab, M/M, Smut, challenge, hehehe they fuckin, piqard, qcard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23313964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spocko_My_Man/pseuds/Spocko_My_Man
Summary: Q teases Picard by sending him mental dickpicks while Picard is on duty. The situation unravels.
Relationships: Jean-Luc Picard/Q
Comments: 4
Kudos: 94





	DiQPiQs (Q/Picard)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thesadchicken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesadchicken/gifts).



> Me and @thesadckicken had a little challenge to write this scenario in our own styles without revealing them before both were done.

_ Wouldn’t you want it, Jean-Luc? My lips glistening with lip gloss and lube and your precum… ready to take you back in… My lips part and close again, thin strings of glistening liquid connecting them and then breaking… _

_ Not now, Q. I am on a diplomatic mission. I must think clearly. I have to concentrate. We will have time for this later, and plenty of it too -- _

_ Ohh, Mon Capitaine, I am very horny now. Now, where were we? My lips part, and -- _

Sudden mental images of Q’s tongue teasing his tip flooded Picard’s mind like a wave of fever. He kept his face neutral in front of the figure of the Volyxiian Ambassador on the viewscreen with sheer willpower, but he could feel blood flushing rapidly to his groin. He nodded at the image on the screen, seeing they had stopped talking, and sat on his chair, crossing his legs to hide the awkward bulge that was starting to show on his uniform.

“Captain Picard, I trust we will continue the negotiations soon on your ship?”

Picard nodded again, trying to ignore Q’s telepathic honey promises of what was to come. “Yes, Ambassador. Be prepared to beam up in half an hour. Before that, I would like to talk to your team of engineers about the needed atmospherical adjustments in the conference room. I will be ready to talk to them in five minutes.”

The orange-skinned half-insectoid Ambassador closed the upper pair of their eyes in agreement, and the comm ended.

Counselor Troi opened her mouth before Picard could stand up again.

“Captain? Are you quite all right? I sense nervousness, but also excitement, maybe even a-”

The Captain jolted up a bit too fast, tugging his shirt like usual.   
“Yes, Counselor, I am aware and okay. I will be in my Ready Room for a moment. You have the bridge, Number One.”

***

In his Ready Room, Picard sighed loudly as the flood of sexual images filled his mind again and his boner extended to its full length, pressing painfully tight against the strict trousers.

“Q, enough. I need to be back there in five minutes. What I need now is a cold shower and a cup of tea, not a wall fuck.”

Q appeared immediately, lounging on the sofa, clad in what seemed to be a mocking stripper version of the Starfleet uniform: black high-heeled leather boots that were laced up to his mid-thigh, a black-red corset with a golden letter Q where the badge would be, elbow-length red leather gloves, and a black leather choker with four golden pips on it. His face was heavily made up with shimmery, grey lipstick, and his eyeshadow and mascara were smeared into a smokey eye look. He tapped his boot with a riding crop.

“My, Mon Capitaine, a wall fuck is just what is needed here.”

“No. I will have the shower now. Stop mingling with me. I know you’re horny, just wait for a few hours.”   
  
Q made a pretty moan of exasperation and stared at Picard from under his half-closed eyelids. “A few HOURS? That’s too long. I need it now. Let me stop the time… Just for a little while...”

Picard didn’t answer, he just stomped to the small bathroom built into an alcove extending from the Ready Room. He undressed and turned the shower on, expecting cold, harsh water to tame his erection and way too heated thoughts.

Except the water wasn’t cold. Nor was it harsh. Instead, it was warm, soothing, and incredibly soft with a sensual scent of roses. It invited him to give in to the softness and desire within... 

“Q, I am trying to negotiate with the Volyxiians about joining the Federation. That won’t go well if I am high on pleasure hormones all the time.”   
It didn’t surprise him that the familiar chuckle came from right behind him. Q, now naked, slid his hands onto Picard’s shoulders, massaging them gently.   
“It also won’t do if you’re so terribly, terribly tense. Come on, let me loosen you up… And I can and will stop the time so that you have enough time to recover naturally.”

Q’s hands felt fiery on his skin. He gasped for air as the low, purring voice made him ache for more. “Fine. But quickly.”

The other hand slid onto Picard’s belly, inching closer to his groin. “As you wish. And oh, I didn't soundproof the room just to make this more exciting... so, to keep your heated yells from the ears of those who are not supposed to hear them..."

Just as the Captain was about to ask what Q meant with that, Q’s other hand clapped over his mouth, sealing it shut. The water turned hotter, filling the small shower cabinet with steam, and the lights turned dimmer and pink-tinted. Then Q’s other hand grabbed his cock gently but firmly, and he moaned and grabbed Q’s wrists in surprise.   
  
“Is that so?” Q asked in a playful yet conversational tone while he stroked the human’s penis.

Picard let out more muffled moans, each prompting another dry reply from Q who was clearly enjoying this, as his erection pressed against Picard’s back. Not that Picard wasn’t enjoying this too… Q had summoned invisible hands to touch Picard everywhere. There were hands caressing his breasts and pinching his nipples. More hands were tickling his inner thighs and fondling his testicles. He felt a slick finger pushing inside of his anus, working him open, and soon he was dilated enough for Q to fully slide his dick in. Q pulled it almost fully out before thrusting again, then again...

Good heavens. It was almost overstimulating.  _ Almost. _ Q knew perfectly what limits not to cross before delivering the strongest orgasms. Now he was sure to keep Picard nicely still, slamming his hips against Picard’s buttocks precisely and rhythmically while spilling more erotic images of them together into both their minds to add to the feeling.

_ You on your knees Me against the wall tied up Clad in satin You in leather Whip me Yes Show me how it is done Look here I am on my back you’re sitting on me straddling me _

Picard was trembling. The building orgasm was going to be particularly strong, maybe even to the point where Q would have to hold onto the human as his mortal legs would turn into jelly… Not that Q’d mind. He loved making a nest for just them to rest in after a tiring session. Q pressed his lips against the skin behind Picard’s ear.

_ Your mouth is so hot You taste so good I think they heard us Shut up and let me do this Oh Yes red red red hot pink coiling qu’est-ce que c’est  _

The thoughts in their shared link became frantic and incoherent, flooded with crimson red and neon pink and champagne, the images twined together into a yell… and into a soft sob as they both came at the same time, Q spilling his heat inside Picard while kissing his jawline, Picard leaking semen all over the wall and Q’s hand, leaning forward as his knees gave up like Q had anticipated… Q caught Picard against the wall and held him up from under his armpits to embrace him gently.

“Let’s get you clean now, mon chéri. Then you can rest for a little while and continue the negotiations in tip top shape.”

Picard was too groggy to protest as Q gently washed him in the shower and then dried and clothed him with a snap of his fingers. The next thing he knew was that he was lying down somewhere soft, curled up half-asleep in Q’s arms.

***

The negotiations went well. Q didn’t continue mentally projecting porn into Picard’s mind. 

Deanna looked less agitated than before, thanks to the Captain’s now calm emotions. The Volyxiians were a hospitable and polite people, and luckily the only needed adjustment in the conference room was a heightened level of oxygen in the air mixture as well as a slightly higher temperature.

***

When Picard retired to his quarters in the evening, he was happy with the results of the conference but also fatigued. And there was something else too… The moment he stepped in, Q’s presence was lingering there like usual -- Q did visit him very often nowadays, after all -- and the pungent aroma of Earl Grey and roses reached his nose.   
“Welcome home, Mon Capitaine.”

Picard could still feel how Q was trying to restrain himself from purging a load of horny thoughts at him. A spark of arousal ignited in his abdomen as his mind steered back to the ready room shower, followed by mild annoyance at how Q had deliberately chosen to project the images at him in the middle of a mission.

Picard couldn’t see him in the main room, though, so he was guessing Q was in the bedroom. A few steps into the general direction proved his guess right, as there Q was, reclining on the bed in the normal Starfleet attire, those sulky lips curled up in a mischievous smile.

“I guess you didn’t get enough earlier?” Jean-Luc asked the dark-haired man.

“Oh, hardly. Though it was a nice snack.”

“You know, I would appreciate if you could restrain yourself from spilling those thoughts into my mind while I’m on duty.”

“Sometimes that’s difficult even for me.”

Picard sneered. “You claim to be omnipotent but can’t keep your dirty thoughts in check? Pathetic.”

Something flashed in Q’s eyes. He was suddenly standing up, looking down at Picard, using all of his height to his advance. Their faces were inches apart.   
“Bold words coming from a mere mortal.”   
“Yet I could keep a straight face while you tried to make me blush.”   
“...Is that a challenge, Mon Capitaine?”   
“It might just be.”   
“Very well.”

Suddenly Picard felt an immense wave of pleasure wash over him like a thunderstorm. He fell onto his knees, moaning in ecstasy. He knew it was from Q. The taller figure in front of him looked blurry now but that was just because he had tears in his eyes from the intense feeling.

“There, there. Your dignity took a hit, didn’t it, Johnny?”

And then Q's palm was on top of Picard's head, turning it to make him look up.   
“You know I can make you come again and again without a refractory period of any kind until you plead for me to let you sleep, right?"

Picard blinked the water away and met Q’s stare defiantly, breathing heavily. Q smiled down at him challengingly and hungrily with his eyes half-closed. Picard didn’t reply.

Q saw Picard’s jaw clench in challenge. The whole expression told him  _ “do your worst. I am prepared.” _

And he did. Suddenly Picard was naked on the floor. Q concentrated his thoughts on every nerve ending on that handsome, well-kept body, and sent another wave of pleasure sweeping over them, revelling in the guttural moans the human let out without being able to control himself. He saw Picard’s penis extend to full erection and his skin blushing. So he turned the proverbial knob to the South-East and restrained Picard’s ankles and wrists to keep him still.   
  
“I don’t see a straight face, Mon Capitaine”, Q purred and sent dozens of invisible hands to tease Picard who was now on his back on the floor. They tickled and pinched his skin and caressed his ears and palms and toes and armpits and made him writhe against the restraints against his will. A beautiful sight… the usually stone-carved captain around his little finger with his eyes closed and his lips apart, his hairy chest moving to the rhythm of his heavy breathing, and his reddened cock leaking precum…

In his mind’s eye, Q saw all of Picard’s nervous system like an instrument. Not a very complex instrument, but an intriguing one he had to admit. He plucked a string gently. Picard’s back arched and his mouth opened wide in a silent yell. Q’s fingers plucked several more strings. This made the human thrust his hips and clench his fists, all the while hissing from between his tightly closed teeth.

Delighted, Q strummed a chord of bliss and let his whole being admire the canon of sounds and reactions his captain made, and soon he had had enough. He took a step and was now over Picard, then his clothes vanished, and he eyed the sweaty human lustfully.   
“Feeling lonely down there, hm? It would be a shame to let you come untouched and let your precious seed go to waste, wouldn’t it?”

Without another word, Q crouched down and straddled Picard’s hips, taking him in with a pleased sigh. He kept plucking the strings of the instrument that was Picard’s neural net. How beautifully in tune it was! Every note playing together clean and clear like a Vulcan lute. Q lowered down until he was sitting skin on skin and bent down to kiss the Captain hungrily. He began raising and lowering his hips, first slowly, then at an increased pace as he found the right spot.

It didn’t take much effort to make Picard orgasm now. Q watched how Picard’s whole torso arched again under him, and felt the hot semen inside his body. He placed a soothing hand on Picard’s quivering cheek and leaned forward to kiss his sweaty face and to whisper in his ear:   
“This was only the beginning, mon amour.”

Q removed Picard’s refractory period and made it so that invisible fingers penetrated him while Q was still sitting on him. Q grinned victoriously as Picard’s penis hardened again inside him and the muscles in Picard’s legs tensed and relaxed as he writhed involuntarily. Q gently tapped more strings, sending cold fire through the human’s abdomen and to his groin. Picard was too preoccupied to say anything even though Q sensed him trying to form words.   
“Shh. No need to talk. Just be a good boy and stay quiet.”

Q placed a finger on Picard’s wet lips and then drew a light line of fire down to his chest, and then placed his hands on Picard’s breasts, twisting his nipples gently. Another throaty moan and a powerful thrust of those toned hips. Q’s eyes widened in surprise and his pupils dilated as he felt Picard brushing against his prostate.

Another pluck of the strings and a caress over the human’s nipples rewarded him with another thrust. And another. He grinned and started riding Picard hard, bobbing up and down while laughing in abandon. It felt amazing. Wonderful. Of course he had felt it before, several times, but something made it more fun this time. By the Continuum, was he sweating too? Usually he wasn’t sweating this much during sex… No matter. It was fun. He brushed an unruly curl off of his forehead.

His arousal built up into an unbearable pressure and he grabbed his length and started moving his hand in rhythm with the thrusts and his movements on Picard. His laughing turned into groaning as his pace quickened.

“Q… Q… Harder… Ha...aahh...”

“Yes, Mon Capitaine… yes...”

And sooner than he realized, he was screaming Picard’s name while hanging onto the strings of the instrument like a lifeline. He came in long white stripes all over Picard’s abdomen, his head thrown back, his back arched tight like a hunting bow, his eyes blacker than night and his mouth open in a yell in dozens of languages at the same time. Picard came again… twice, screaming in French, Federation Standard, Klingon, English, in pure thought, until there was nothing else left than the sound of their hearts beating in unison.

Q lifted himself off of Picard’s softening cock and lay next to him in his aftershocks, cum dripping down his legs. He removed the restraints. Picard’s breathing was ragged as he yanked Q’s hair roughly and pulled him into an almost violent kiss. 

“If this was supposed to be a lesson, I sure hope you learned not to meddle with me when I am trying to establish diplomatic connections, okay?" Picard muttered against those plump lips.

"Can't promise anything."

“You had better”, Picard growled and bit Q’s lip, making him howl in heat.

  
  



End file.
